And the cycle of self-loathing begins

P and P turn 3 and are none too pleased about it, digging their tiny fingernails deep into 2 and holding on for dear life. Maybe the Bounce House trapped all their joy within its horrible, colorful, meshy walls.


"I don't wanna be happy, Daddy!"
"Don't worry, sweetheart, you'll be reading your first Seventeen magazine before you know it. Then you'll really learn how to hate yourself."


Maybe it's the freakish size of those giant candles. Look at that; it's as big as her upper arm!


Don't worry, girls; a little sugar and flour will make your lives whole again!